OK, This is my first EVER blog. My lovely wife got me interested in starting a blog so here I am. I really didn't know what to make a blog about at first but after a lot of thought I decided to write about what I really know about and that is critiquing video game developers final products. Don't get me wrong, I in no way intend on slamming the developers themselves, just the complete garbage they throw at the general public in a vain attempt to collect my hard earned salary. Some games are good, solid and playable. Others make you wish you had slammed your face into the television screen instead of dishing out the 60 nonrefundable dollars you spent on what is now used as a coaster for your can of Mountain Dew.
My rating scale has been carefully broken down by topics including the following.
Visual Appeal and Audio. Obviously the gamers of today require visual stimuli to be drawn into the game in the first place. A game could have an amazing story but if it is not aesthetically pleasing the gamer may automatically pass with the crude slur "these graphics suck." Of course, that is not everyone's opinion, but it is the difference between a good game and a great game. The soundtrack can also be a deal breaker. I know I enjoy having the music fit the situation, and usually it does. I still intend on addressing it. You never want to have the clashing sounds going on with the intense build up while your character is trying to read in a library or vise verse. The calm, serene, tranquil sounds don't fit a scene where your bogged down in a trench firing desperate shots at an overwhelming enemy.
Story. Graphics alone cannot win awards. The story has to draw you in. If you have been playing a game for more than a half hour and still have NO IDEA what is going on the consumer may become bored and shelve the game permanently. I intend on sharing quality of story without spoilers. This may prove to be a challenge but I will do what I can.
Playability and Control Layout. Is it worth it to buy a game that you only want to play once? I don't think so. I've bought many games in the past that I wish I hadn't. That's where my Playability rating comes in. Control layout is also a very important topic I intend to go over. I've played many a game where the control system was complex and confusing. If the game requires you to stand on one leg while rubbing your belly while holding the controller upside down with your teeth and rapidly blinking your eyelids to make a jump while swinging your short sword of noobness, the gamer may not want to play this game either.
and finally
Overall Rating. All things considered do I like the game? Would you like the game? Would I recommend that you go out and buy the game? Would I recommend that you instead place a live honey badger in your pants? These are the questions that if you are drawn to this blog in the first place, you would want answered. Right? Well I intend do answer them in force. My grade scale is a 10 to 0 system with the following meanings.
10 - Simply among the best, nothing can touch this game. Its only rival may consist of Chuck Norris riding a Unicorn down the front of a rainbow, and even then he would have this game in his hand.
9 - Close to perfect, even with a minor flaw here and there I would highly recommend this game to even the most skeptical of readers.
8 - Playable, maybe even own-able. This rating is still reserved for the best, even if it isn't among the elite.
7 - Choose wisely. Like the holy knight to Indiana Jones I caution thee to choose carefully. This is the absolute lowest rating I would give to a game that is own able.
6 - Rent able. I do not suggest a purchase here. Gamefly is available to test this game before buying it. I highly suggest you try there first before your local Gamestop.
5 - Try to borrow from a dumb friend who already bought it. This game has potential but falls short of any financial commitment.
4 - This is why we play the free demos. If you purchase a game after reading my review with this rating for any reason short of nostalgia, the consequences are on you.
3 - Play fetch. Take the disk out and throw it for your dog. This falls short in every major category with maybe one or two redeeming factors. Not worth playing.
2 - BAD. This game has no redeeming features. This rating is reserved for games that wern't finished before deadline or the developers just don't care.
1 - Very bad. I shouldn't have even played this game to review it. I knew what I was getting myself into.
